Sorry - I could possibly be repeating stuff here, but there are too many comments for me to read all of them thoroughly before answering.
To answer the questions in order...
what is wrong with me?
Absolutely nothing. Let the other people be wrong ;)
are people not interested in me because they assume i am happily single?
In my experience, this is highly unlikely - my experience can be generalised by stating that it's when I'm not looking that I've tended to have people interested in me. I don't know if this is a reflection of not consciously looking and so not worrying or what. It's hard to judge as there's no truly neutral position to look from.
are people not interested in me because they assume there must be something wrong with me?
1) Err, have you met Aden? He's the most wrong person I've ever met, and I married him! Something being "wrong" doesn't preclude interest.
And more importantly: 2) I don't know of anything wrong with you, nor would assume that anything is! It doesn't work like that. In fact, I think the only people that might garner that attitude would be embodiment of a Disney character - picture book perfect looks (ie: made of plastic), not a bad thought in the world (nor an original one, for that matter) and the most calm-tempered, "always kind to children and animals" type of do-gooder that would make sane people want to throw up. When you start getting bluebirds sitting around your bedroom window waking you up in the morning with a saccharine sweet harmony in time for you to make waffles for the entire block, you can start worrying that people assume there's something "wrong" :) Personally, I think you'd need a lobotomy or 10 to reach that stage, so you should be safe!
are in fact people interested in me and i am not noticing it? (note: if so please tell me)
Distinctly possible. It's the whole being flirt-blind thing.
should i make effort to meet more new people?
Yes, always - it keeps life interesting, and increases the chances of finding someone statistically at least!
wouldn't it be better just to go and hide?
Hiding never helps. That statistically decreases your chances for a start! (Also: this doesn't apply to me, as of course it's perfectly logical when I do it... ;P Or in other words: I know I should take my own advice...!)
am i just hanging out in the wrong social circle to meet people who might be interested in me?
Frankly, I doubt it! (I shall put a few observations below on that one...)
given how bad i am at dealing with rejection anyway, wouldn't it be a really terrible idea for me to put myself in a situation with even more potential for that?
There's a theory along the lines of exposing yourself to rejection teaching you to accept it better. I don't know that I agree with it in practice, though! I guess it depends on the situation - in a manner of speaking, pick your fights! Things like this have an element of risk - with out the attempt there's little/no hope of a payoff, but there are times when the risk isn't worth it. (note: all theoretical, really, as I have no idea what the situation you speak of is!)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-03-18 02:15 pm (UTC)To answer the questions in order...
what is wrong with me?
Absolutely nothing. Let the other people be wrong ;)
are people not interested in me because they assume i am happily single?
In my experience, this is highly unlikely - my experience can be generalised by stating that it's when I'm not looking that I've tended to have people interested in me. I don't know if this is a reflection of not consciously looking and so not worrying or what. It's hard to judge as there's no truly neutral position to look from.
are people not interested in me because they assume there must be something wrong with me?
1) Err, have you met Aden? He's the most wrong person I've ever met, and I married him! Something being "wrong" doesn't preclude interest.
And more importantly:
2) I don't know of anything wrong with you, nor would assume that anything is! It doesn't work like that. In fact, I think the only people that might garner that attitude would be embodiment of a Disney character - picture book perfect looks (ie: made of plastic), not a bad thought in the world (nor an original one, for that matter) and the most calm-tempered, "always kind to children and animals" type of do-gooder that would make sane people want to throw up. When you start getting bluebirds sitting around your bedroom window waking you up in the morning with a saccharine sweet harmony in time for you to make waffles for the entire block, you can start worrying that people assume there's something "wrong" :) Personally, I think you'd need a lobotomy or 10 to reach that stage, so you should be safe!
are in fact people interested in me and i am not noticing it? (note: if so please tell me)
Distinctly possible. It's the whole being flirt-blind thing.
should i make effort to meet more new people?
Yes, always - it keeps life interesting, and increases the chances of finding someone statistically at least!
wouldn't it be better just to go and hide?
Hiding never helps. That statistically decreases your chances for a start! (Also: this doesn't apply to me, as of course it's perfectly logical when I do it... ;P Or in other words: I know I should take my own advice...!)
am i just hanging out in the wrong social circle to meet people who might be interested in me?
Frankly, I doubt it! (I shall put a few observations below on that one...)
given how bad i am at dealing with rejection anyway, wouldn't it be a really terrible idea for me to put myself in a situation with even more potential for that?
There's a theory along the lines of exposing yourself to rejection teaching you to accept it better. I don't know that I agree with it in practice, though! I guess it depends on the situation - in a manner of speaking, pick your fights! Things like this have an element of risk - with out the attempt there's little/no hope of a payoff, but there are times when the risk isn't worth it. (note: all theoretical, really, as I have no idea what the situation you speak of is!)
(cont. in part 2...)