(no subject)

[abigailbrady]

So, I've decided what my scheme will be when I finally take the step to become a mad scientist. You are aware of pandas. They're not in a good way. One suggested reason is their metabolism isn't properly adapted to their diet yet (they have carnivorous ancestors only a few million years ago).

So, anyway, my mad scientist plan is to use genetic engineering to restore whatever genes were knocked out in pandas, creating a new race of GM carnivorous pandas. I would then ship them to zoos all over the world where they would frighten small children.

I still haven't decided on what phase 2 is, but I am certain it involves a panda rampage.

Comments

Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[simplypeachy.livejournal.com]

Phase 2 should probably involve crossing them with koalas. The instinctive urge to overthrow the universe present in all koalas will make the pandas more willing to do your bidding. They won't know why your orders are so compelling but won't care.

Also please be aware that by phase three you're expected to have your evil cackle and crazy hair ready, if not already in general use.

Phase IV will require ants.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

But how can I best avoid the koalas overthrowing me after I have finalised my despotic rule over all of creation?

I already have the evil laugh perfected, even if I do say so myself.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[simplypeachy.livejournal.com]

Oh you just have to be careful; make sure you don't use the koala genes that give them their strong will and wise ideas. I'll check the Haynes Manual when it turns up, I'm pretty sure it has a section on Safe Handling of Koalas in a Laboratory Environment.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I've been trying to get hold of a copy of that myself, but it's been surprisingly hard to track down.

ps Do you know plett?

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[simplypeachy.livejournal.com]

I know a plett from IRC (#A&A, I'm _aD) but not on LiveJournal.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

That's the one. He overlapped me at Soton and is also an admin of the mud mentioned in the December 8th entry, see. Small world.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[simplypeachy.livejournal.com]

Wow. He's probably helped me fix stuff before; he works at the best ISP in the country (http://www.aaisp.net.uk/). They're big damn heroes.

I've had far too few Small World moments this year, maybe they're just late.

Re: Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

(Yes, and they are my ISP too, of course.)