(no subject)

[abigailbrady]

So, I've decided what my scheme will be when I finally take the step to become a mad scientist. You are aware of pandas. They're not in a good way. One suggested reason is their metabolism isn't properly adapted to their diet yet (they have carnivorous ancestors only a few million years ago).

So, anyway, my mad scientist plan is to use genetic engineering to restore whatever genes were knocked out in pandas, creating a new race of GM carnivorous pandas. I would then ship them to zoos all over the world where they would frighten small children.

I still haven't decided on what phase 2 is, but I am certain it involves a panda rampage.

Comments

[thatmakesmemad.livejournal.com]

Phase 2 deal with their woeful reproductive capacity. Add genes from a species capable of rapid breeding. You will choose chavs as a readily available local source. The consequences will be well beyond your most optimistic expectations. You will relocate your base to the office areas beneath the reading room at the British Museum (ref Possession -AS Byatt) to wait out the carnage (fear of institutions of culture was an unexpected side effect of the genetic splicing). Alternatively a Mississippi steamer on the Thames (ref http://www.steamboatbordello.com/ )

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

I have a very interesting t-shirt featuring pandas. I will show it to you later. *smiles ominously*

[aquarionical.livejournal.com]

The word you are looking for is pandamonium.

Bamboocalyptus Beasts

[simplypeachy.livejournal.com]

Phase 2 should probably involve crossing them with koalas. The instinctive urge to overthrow the universe present in all koalas will make the pandas more willing to do your bidding. They won't know why your orders are so compelling but won't care.

Also please be aware that by phase three you're expected to have your evil cackle and crazy hair ready, if not already in general use.

Phase IV will require ants.

[pfy.livejournal.com]

Train them to FIGHT CRIME. At present, it is deeply misleading that panda cars do not, in fact, contain pandas.