please don't think you need to fix anything. i guess it's more that i/we are trying to be helpful and give you information - with the idea that you can make decisions about what you want, what you could do to maximise the chances of what you want happening, and whether you feel comfortable doing them. it's a balance. but things are worth trying out, in my opinion, before you say "i won't be any good at that".
being able to converse properly is very very good. so is doing things where you meet people (mapping?).
i had worked out by now that you are gay - but that was much easier once i started reading your LJ. my gaydar is rather broken anyway, but i'm not sure that it matters particularly if you 'identify' as one persuasion or another, unless you feel the need to personally. women are much less bothered about being approached by the wrong gender for them and vice-versa people are less worried about approaching women who may or may not interested in their gender. it used to frustrate me that people tended to assume i was straight at a gay events, but i'm sure writing I AM A DYKE across my chest wouldn't have made me any happier. the i-am-a-sexual-being thing is i think the most important. which is different from trying to look sexually attractive (i'm guessing that you aren't inclined to do that).
i can't deal personally, with contriving these things, and i also don't deal well with contriving a social life. i do deal well with doing what i want when i want regardless of whether i have company to do it. that does ocassionally mean going clubbing on the spur of the moment by myself. it means ocassionally over-dressing for no good reason. i don't know if it makes me anymore attractive to do these things, but i know i feel more attractive to be doing something just because i enjoy it. perhaps it's an element of sensuality (perhaps if you display sensitivity to sensuality it's akin to displaying sexual-beingness). anyway, it's commonly held that if you feel attractive, you are. so...